"today in lecture hall, a guy just make me cry"
harini semua orang in my course kena pakai baju raya gi class. menarik gila. bewarna warni betol. dengan sampin, songkok, baju kebaya bagai. like usual, i dengan myra wouldnt care less. kitorang just pakai baju kurung. simple is perfect kan? lagipon memang tak lah nak pakai baju kebaya naik turun bas.
okey, so the class went well- like always. but suddenly, by the end of the class....
a guy with blue baju melayu complete with songkok and sampin comes infront of the lecture hall and start talking on the mike. at first, me and myra *okey, myra and i* was like, "alaaaaaaaaa ape lagi mamat ni? lapar ni!" but then, the topic of the speech he wants to deliver just make our mouth shut. the topic was Nurul Nadia.
here are some of his speech that i could recalled.
"emmm, my speech today is about Nurul Nadia. she's the girl in blue with yellow scarf right infront of me and she is my girlfriend. i knew her not long enough, just a few months back, but i felt like i really know her. i felt in love with her since i read her blog. i just felt that she express herself truly there. she's quiet but in her blog, she talks a lot. that's why i like her. she is really really special. i never expect she would except me, but i'm grateful she does. 20 years ago, my life was okay, but now, having her, my life just seems perfect. today is a very special day for my special girl because today is her birthday. i wanted to give her something special, i wanted to give her my life if can, but for now, this is for you nadia."
handling her a cute little box and with tears, the girl accept it.
at the moment, i just felt like its the moment of theirs. the rest of us was gone. the girl cried as the guy was talking; expressing his heart out. i imagine what she felt inside her. touch? amaze? happy? or maybe she just felt so in love. i remember the last sentence of the guy, more or less it sounded like this.
"i wish you a happy birthday. nadia, i love you so much."
there was a silence space between me and myra at the moment. we both just lost in our own thoughts. i wonder what she's thinking. but i guess she just felt the same as i saw tears in her eyes- just like mine. the situation gives me goose bumps. it makes me shiver. i look at her and say, "babe, you rasa ada orang nak buat kat kita camni tak?"
before this, i thought i was someone. someone special. i can make a guy go crazy if i want and that is freakingly true.
but when the guy saw something in her that makes her the most special girl in world, it makes me felt as if i'm a nobody. i just felt so small.
i want to be appreciated for what i have inside.
i want to make someone else life seems perfect.
i want to feel to be loved by someone that love me for what i am.
ermmm, i cried because....
i wonder, can i have what i want?