Monday, August 30, 2010

cooling rhyno

kenapa badak symbolizes cooling down?
kenapa tak benda lain yang lebih kecil mungkin.

"when i left you, i felt pain in my chest. i thought i have chest congestion so i tried to eat ginger a lot. but the pain wouldn't go away."

................"at the moment i saw you, its okay. my pain just vanished."

my name is Khan, and i'm not a terrorist.

tanggal tiga puluh satu, bulan lapan, lima puluh tujuh. hari yang mulia, hari bahagia, sambut dengan jiwa yang merdeka. mari kita seluruh warga negara, ramai ramai menymbut hari Merdeka, Merdeka!

lagu merdeka setiap tahun tapi tak pernah nak hafal.

merdeka? ask me about it. 19 years of living, still figuring out what independence is all about. what is the purpose of celebrating it. dulu dulu, sebab nak raikan kebebasan kita dari penjajahan. habis sekarang? macam dah tak berapa nak releven. dont you think so?

tanya budak budak kecil, they say, thats the day when they dont have to go to school and the day before that, they had party in school and get flags for free. oh really.

ask a teenager or i like to call preadult, they say, its the time when we can see concert and chaosity. a perfect time to get high, to get drunk, to get a independence-baby, because after all, ini kan hari merdeka, hari kebebasan. oh i see. tapi buat benda benda ni hari lain pon boleh kan? kena hari merdeka jgk eh?

ask an adult, they say its a no working time. tolong basuh kereta please? err is that an answer?

ask folks, they will start the history story; how difficult it was that time, how misery it was, how starve it was, how terrified it was and whatnot. then they will continue with the-ungratefulness-of-people-nowadays speech. lastly, it end with a little tears. how emotional.

please do tell me if you have the answer on the meaning of independence day. dont worry, there is no right and wrong answer. its your own thought after all. :)

watak watak dalam cerita ini benar sama sekali.
makan durian banyak banyak buat rasa cam nak buka baju di khalayak ramai.
yellow yellow, dirty fellow.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

when goodbye means forever

ini barulah tamak.
nak post berentri entri dalam satu hari.

these are some of my entries in tumblr.
going to delete it now.
goodbye rainbow. :)

btw, thanks for people yang baru follow or dah lama follow.
anda boleh terus follow saya di sini.
satu satunya benda yang saya tak kan delete.

i guess so.

Here goes nothing.

Chase, and Kimmie.

He was 15 and I was 13.

Okay, so I was 12… but 13 sounds a little better.

I don’t care what anyone thinks or says, because our love was real, no matter how young we were.

He showed me..true happiness. And that I was really worth something. He made me smile so hard it hurt. I know that God brought us together. He was really smart and I was spacey and in my own world. He loved that though. I felt protected by him, and special. He was a vegetarian but said he would cook meals with meat for me. He was sincere and honestly the “coolest guy you’d ever meet.”

He got sent to Juvenile Hall for a month for fighting.

I remember the night before he left. He packed 8 pictures of me and promised me that no matter what might happen over the 30 days, that he would love me no matter what.

He got out and broke my heart. Said ‘I Love You’ were simply words that fell out of his mouth and he didn’t mean it. The next day I moved to New York where I didn’t have internet for a couple months. I thought about him all the time. Obviously. When I finally did get internet, I looked him up and we started talking. He apologized and we became ‘friends.’

I honestly thought he didn’t want me back. I was hurt and needing him but I played along with the ‘best friends’ lie.

A month or so after we started talking, he committed suicide. I was the last person he talked to. I didn’t even know that he was dying while IMing with me. But he was acting weird and I messaged my other friend telling her to get someone over to his house.

I found out the next morning.

Turns out, 2 days after he broke up with me, he wanted me back….but thought I deserved better.

I really loved him.

My friend Josh typed his note to me out.

dear kimberly marie- i know that you will never fully receive this note, but i wrote for every one that counts and you most definateley count. though i know i already apologized- i want you to know im sorry. i hurt you and broke a beautiful heart that never deserved breaking. you truly are one of the most amazing things that ever happen to me. your beautiful kim. not only on the out side, but the inside. your strong and smart and i believe in you that you can do anything. you truely did change my life. you showed me what it was to love. and i will always adore you for that. i love you kimmie marie. and im sorry for the pain i caused you. i hope that you can remember me not for that, but for the fun conversations we had late at night when you would say just the right thing to make me smile so hard it hurt. all i want you to remember from me is this- hold on to your dreams, cuz at one point, they are going to be all you have. fight for what you want kim. and it will come to you. i have faith in you. i hope you find exactly what you are looking for in this life. think of me from time to time. i love you….p.s- remember that promise you made me when we were together? keep it, for me.



jared padalecki

i love him because his hair never stay still; i'm drooling. haha.

they said; hanis enough lah. tak payah berangan. he’ll juz be there in your little buble.

i said; can i ask him to marry me? :)



tommorow just doesnt seems to matter.

you jump, i jump

boleh tak tamak post 2 entri dalam 1 hari?
ohhh now, dah kira hari esok.

cerita paling sedih dalam peradaban manusia.
aku punya suka lah nak suka.

credited to, myra.
aku memang malas nak cari benda benda camni.


it just fit at the right time.
dont you think so?


aku boleh jadi sangat bising,
tapi aku boleh jadi sangat sangat sangat senyap.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

silence says

"farah, i need company"
"tapi if u hear me crying, dont look back please. just ignore"
"okey babe"
"u study, biar i colourkan kuku u okey?"
"okey. babe, u kenapa?"
"there is a lot of question i cant answer now."
"when can u answer?"
"some time."
"its been a while kot. tell me lah. it wont solve if u just keep it there"
"if i told u, would it be a difference?"
"at least, i know why are u crying. how many times dah u dtg bilik i, nangis, and go back?"

within the awkward silence there's a tears. soft, soft, barely heard tears.

i'm shutting my self, slowly.

stay still, dont move

nampak tak yang colour maroon tu? itu link.
sila lah click. =)

He was my North, my South, my East and West,

My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

i though you'd come back, so i prayed.
a movie that plays in my mind
remembering you, helps me survive
every day a re-run of the next
i promised to stay, by your side
close my eyes, just for tonight.

when u put your arm around me and kiss me,
that's the way aha aha. i like it aha aha.

Monday, August 23, 2010

with me

stay here forever

Kiss me out of the bearded barley
Nightly, beside the green, green grass
Swing, swing, swing the spinning step
You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.

Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me

Kiss me down by the broken tree house
Swing me upon its hanging tire
Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat
We'll take the trail marked on your father's map

Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me

footnote: please jangan comment. please.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

pie in the sky

please wake me from this wet, wet dream.

"tak pe babe, kita tak payah ikot orang"
haha. aku suka ayat tu.

phone rosak. phone rosak. phone rosak. phone rosak. phone rosak. phone rosak. phone rosak. phone rosak. phone rosak. phone rosak. phone rosak. phone rosak. phone rosak. phone rosak. phone rosak. phone rosak. phone rosak. phone rosak. phone rosak. phone rosak. phone rosak. phone rosak. phone rosak. phone rosak. phone rosak. phone rosak. phone rosak. phone rosak.

aku nak cuba bercakap metapor dan membuat analogi.

cerita sepotong kuih merah; sepotong kuih bewarna merah di bazaar Ramadhan tidak dipandang. kerana kuih itu tiada parot kelapa, tiada gula merah, tiada santan- hanya merah. kuih itu kemudian dibeli oleh seorang pembeli yang dah tiada pilihan lain selain kuih itu. sebab kuih lain dah habis, dah pukul 7.25 petang. kuih merah itu berasa gembira namun dia berharap agar pembeli itu tidak makan diri dia agar merah itu kekal warnanya.

hahh!!! cukup metapor tak?! *sampai aku dah tak faham the main point of it*

facebook tiada. facebook tiada. facebook tiada. facebook tiada. facebook tiada. facebook tiada. facebook tiada. facebook tiada. facebook tiada. facebook tiada. facebook tiada. facebook tiada. facebook tiada. facebook tiada. facebook tiada. facebook tiada. facebook tiada. facebook tiada. facebook tiada. facebook tiada. facebook tiada. facebook tiada. facebook tiada. facebook tiada.

"i really miss you, i do"
"please dont forget me"

i miss you too, darn it.

ada sesiapa nak bagi handphone free untuk orang gua ni tak?

*tengok tu, tengah desperate pon nak demand lagi. *
nak free wei. haha.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

shooting star

dah kata dah next entri mesti tajuk ni. haha.

4.30 am.

bosan mampos tengok own blog.
nak tukar design baru lah.

5.50 am.

i want my piercing darn it.

6.05 am.

handphone rosak.
facebook tade.
macam mana nak contact orang ni??

tick tock tick tock tick tock

lambat betol orang ptptn ni.

ohh. baru 6.13 am.

harap dapat cari kesabaran berhadapan dengan orang kerajaan.
crossing my finger hard.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

GMH. :' )
facebook dah tiada kan sekarang.

sila klik link di atas untuk lihat sedikit humanity yang tinggl di dunia ini.
and seriously, aku suka web ini.
people yang buat web page ni, GMH. :' )
i always feel unwanted.
i always feel that i'm all alone.
i forget my friends are there for me.
never get bored to give courages.
never get bored to ask my condition.
never get bored to cry together.
never get bored to lend their shoulder.
never get bored to listen.
people like them, GMH. :' )
"kenapa kakak nangis?"
"kakak gadoh dengan abg afiq ke?"
"tak pe lah, kalau abg afiq dah tak sayang kakak, adah sayang kakak sampai bila bila"
my 7 years old sister, GMH. :' )
"mom, imiss you"
"i miss you more"
"i miss the time you were around"
"samalah. rumah sunyi hanis tade"
"ma, hanis teringin makan durian"
"mama janji, hanis balik nanti kita makan durian eh. selagi hanis tak makan durian kat sana, mama pon tak makan kat sini. fair kan?"
mother's fairness, GMH. :' )
"setiap minggu aku kena makan benda manis do"
"kalau aku tak makan nanti aku cepat emo"
"wei, aku teringin ah makan benda manis"
"okey jom makan cendol"
the effort to fulfill one little wish, GMH. :' )
"hanis nak tindik lidah lah. tapi takot. mesti sakit."
"tak pe. kita buat sama sama, so sakit sama sama"
you, GMH. :' )
tak sabar tunggu ptptn.
ptptn does give me hope. haha.

hanis da vincci

ingin mengasah bakat mendoodle.

aku rasa aku mungkin akan menghidap penyakit insomnia. atau mungkin sleeping disorder.
and wow rambut macam sedang mencarot. haha.

aku rasa aku mungkin akan menghidap penyakit kekurangan zat makanan.
oh lupa, aku dah hidap penyakit tu.
and my hair will go bigger than my body.

aku rasa aku mungkin akan menghidapi penyakit bosan sampai rasa nak mati.
dan kesannya, aku akan mati secara perlahan lahan.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

a little part of me

that gives big impact.

can i say, i miss this moment?

menyuk : monyet
memang hobi aku buat typo.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010


aku supposedly cari info untuk siapkan speech competition,
but aku end up tulis dua entri blog. :D

Types of food: exotic food

exotic food tu macam ulat bulu dalam kepompong, mamoth, jering, or maybe jerung, momo, ikan emas, kura kura , ular tedung, lipas terbang, kan? kan? kan?

kalau macam tu, senang je lah. dah siap speech aku. hee.
tahniah hanis. :)

notakaki: atas sebab malas nak mampos repeat cerita *padahal boleh je copy*, sila klik link ini untuk baca entri aku di blog lain tentang title di atas. sekian.

pelangi 3 warna

metaphorical speaking can be hard for people like me. take note.
and yes title entri ini satu metaphor.

putri saadah: mak andam kecil yang suka rosakkan make up dan tak tahu ambil duit baki.

i miss my little sister. darn.
and i bet she miss me too.

"mama, bila kakak nak balik?"
"kakak bz laaa."
"mama, ape kate kalau mama kol kakak suruh dia balik sekarang"
"kenape, adah rindu kakak ke?"
"jom kita masok bilik kakak and amik bear dia nak?"

and yes, she still sleep with my bear.
siapa kata aku hardcore-cold-hearted-perempun tade perasaan-tak tahu layan budak.
aku suka budak budak okey.

anak jawa mata sepet, rindu. :' )

ammagirls: you broke my heart to pieces. i nak merajok lama ni okey.

The last airbender: The book of water.
aku memang follow the animation of this movie kat nickelodeon. that's why teruja pergi tengok. basically best sebab macam real concept wujudnya nature benders in human kind even though tak ada actually. *u see, bila BM campur BI, aku sendiri tak faham.*
tapi the character of prince Zuko aku memang tak boleh terima. in animation, dia macho, handsome and putih okey. motif watak dia lari jauh dari the description?
memang tak boleh pergi.

prince Zuko in animation.

a guy name dev patel yang muka macam suami aishwarya rai siket siket.

yah mungkin benda ni small matter je. as long as the movie goes superb, who cares siapa bawak watak siapa kan? tapi aku kisah. because its distracting bila aku dah kenal watak Zuko tu muka dia lain but then tiba tiba...
aku tak faham kenapa watak lain muka sama except him?!
even si monyet, momo, and si memerang gergasi, appa, pon muka sama.
okey enough. cerita tersebut memang best. :)

saidah umairah: kau perempuan gila suka pakai tudung selekeh pastu tak nak mengaku. haha.

esok kita makan keropok dalam bas lagi okey?

Tuesday, August 10, 2010


kuih sampan.
air soya cincau.

nasi tomato dengan ayam percik.

aku dah tak sabar nak pergi bazaar.

Berlalulah sudah ramadan sebulan berpuasa
Tiba syawal kita rayakan dengan rasa gembira
Anak muda di rantauan semuanya pulang ke desa
Ibu dan ayah keriangan bersyukur tak terkira

bila nak buat entri puasa, mesti otak terfikir makanan sedap sedap dan air yang bewarna warni jual kat bazaar dan mulut nyanyi lagu raya yang dah setiap tahun dengar. padahal puasa pon belum mula lagi. kenapa tah macam tu. mungkin orang orang macam saya tak cukup kenal erti bulan puasa. dah duduk lama depan ni, still beriya iya nyanyi macam esok dah nak raya, tapi satu main point pon tak ada lagi. haiyaaa. nak pergi stanza dua lah. boleh nyanyi lagi. hee.

Bertukar senyuman dan salam ziarah-menziarahi
Tutur dan kata yang sopan saling memaafi
Suasana hari raya walau di mana pun jua
Memberikan ketenangan dan mententeramkan jiwa

best betol makan dengan lecturer, dia belanja. siapa kata duduk dengan lecturer akan cakap pasal ilmiah je? tipu tu. tadi lunch dengan lecturer cakap pasal how to get pregnant. bahahahaha. cukop ilmiah tak topic? aku suka lecturer tu sebab aku rasa dia style sanggup letak penutup tong sampah atas kepala hanya untuk mendescribekan sesuatu. and aku suka dia sebab kitorang tak payah panggil dia sir. and and aku suka dia sebab membenarkan kitorang pakai spender di luar, seluar di dalam datang ke class *menunjukkan identiti sendiri , i mean* and and and aku suka dia sebab dia rare. nama dia CK, he's a chinese and dah tua tapi tak pa, aku suka jugak. :)
jom jom nyanyi lagi.

Kuih dan muih beranika macam
Makanlah jangan hanya di pandang
Ketupat rendang sila nikmati kawan
Penat memasak malam ke pagi

tadi kan, tadi kan, tadi kan, aku officially jadi pencegah maksiat. hahhh! cukop hebat tak? aku rasa aku cool kejap. pencegah maksiat yang berambut perang, berkuku merah dan sebiji ulcer di lidah. haha. rasa ajaib oh sebab aku yang mencegah, bukan aku yang dicegah. lalaalalaalala. teruja bila masok je class, tengok mereka tengah _______. haaaaaaaa. pastu kenapa tah aku pulak yang malu. haha. tak tahu nak buat ekspresi macam mana. then yang perempuan sorok belakang dinding. betol betolkan tudung. yes take note people, tudung labuh mampos boleh buat khemah kenduri kahwin 7 hari 7 malam. haha. bajet aku tak nampak lah. kau sorok belakang dinding pon, tudung kau lagi besar dari dinding. weeeeeee. pastu yang lelaki, menggelabah macam gila. cakap semua berterabur. rilek laaa der, tenang sudah. berani buat, berani tanggung lah. kan? kan? perempuan tu tunggu je belakang dinding sampai aku keluar. aku pon tak tahu motif dia apa. mungkin dia ingt dia ada kuasa halimunan kot.

oh ya, lupa nak cakap. aku masok class tu bukan sebab nak join tapi sebab aku nak cari buku yang tertinggal. semua benda ada hikmah kan. lepas dah keluar, aku macam hesitate. nak report, tak nak, report ke tak nak. tapi at the end, kaki dengan laju melangkah ke pejabat. sebab aku nak tahu perasaan orang yang mereport. *asik aku je kena report. cett* after report, satu pejabat nak jadi ahli pencegah maksiat secara sukarela. haha. kelakar kan manusia manusia ni? salah orang mesti laju jeeee, salah sendiri, buat tak nampak. aku harap mereka dah berkahwin. tapi mungkin mereka tak ada rumah nak melepaskan rindu. dan aku harap mereka tak dikenakan tindakan apa apa. *so apa motif kau report do?*

aku percaya pada hukum karma. i believe what goes around comes around. so ini akan aku jadikan pengajaran. JANGAN BERASMARADANA DALAM CLASS WEI. :D

Wajik dan dodol jangan lupakan
Peninggalan nenek zaman berzaman
Asyik bersembang pakcik dan makcik
Hai duit raya lupa nak di beri

dulu masa nyanyi part ni, mesti aku nyanyi "kuaci dan dodol". bila dah selalu sangat kena gelak, belajar cakap wajik. *wajik tu apa tah* aku imagine wajik tu macam kuih lapis yang kaler hijau dan kuning. hee.

kan aku dah janji, next entri tade lagi post yang sedih. :)

selamat berpuasa semua.
berjuang lah anda melawan perut, asap dan nafsu.
semoga berjaya.

bila cakap pasal puasa, hati berdebar do.
tahun ni, bersungguh sungguh nak puasa.
kita lihat apa kata survey.