Monday, July 26, 2010

Last Flower

the houses move and the houses speak


berjalan selalu la heeeeiiiiiii !

YA.

teater Mek Mulung.
Panggung Bandaraya Kuala Lumpur.
24 Julai 2010.


ragut! ragut! ragut! ragut!

orang KL ni pelik pelik..

teater JalanG Belakang Bukit Bintang.
Stor Dewan Bahasa dan Pusaka.
25 Julai 2010.


i just want to talk, please dont interrupt.


pagi pegi class,
balik pegi canselori tapi salah tingkat,
turun balik amik nombor,
tunggu lama untuk dapat cop.
"dik, akak tersalah cop lah"
"err. tak pe lah kak"
tgh hari makan roti,
naik bas pegi class petang,
balik pegi PK,
tunggu lama untuk dapat eyemo je.
"mata awak ni kena habuk, cuba guna ni"
"errr. okey lah"
darn
balik PK naik bas pegi bank,
sampai bank, bank rosak,
pegi bank lain,
"maaf sedang dalam penyelenggaraan"
pegi last atm, kena beratur panjang,
dah beratur, pegi pos ofis,
nak pos laju.
amik nombor, tunggu lama,
sampai kat kaunter,
"adik sampul surat habis, adik turun bawah sekali, beli sampul kat koperasi"
"ohh macam tu pulak. okey"
turun tangga naik tangga,
amik nombor lagi sekali, tunggu lama lagi,
dah sampai kaunter,
"adik, gam dah habis lah"
"AKAK! SAYA NAK CEPAT NI. TAK KAN GAM PON TADE?! BAIK TUTUP JE OFIS NI! MENYUSAHKAN ORANG JE! SAYA PENAT LAH MACAM NI! AKAK TAU TAK KEDAI TU TINGKAT BAWAH SEKALI?!"
"err. jap eh jap. ha nah, ni ada gam"
bodoh. otak kecik.
balik pos ofis, gi cyber cafe. nak print.
pendrive pulak tak leh read.
mother fucker.
otw balik bilik,
rasa cam nak nangis sorang sorang,
tapi tak pe,
hanis, kau kan survivor.
nak gembirakan hati sendiri, beli lah cendol kat cafe.
rupanya indah khabar dari rupa.
cendol rasa cam sampah.
gampang betol.
balik bilik, dah petang.
baring atas katil,
perut kelaparan.
luahkan perasaan berjela jela,
"kesiannya"

ooh. eh? terima kasih.
did i mention i gone through this alone?
and there's tears in my eyes.

teater Malang Sehari.
Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia.
26 Julai 2010


just sit back and listen


i didnt go through a sweet life here.
please try to understand.
as much as i'm trying to fit in.
do you have any idea,
how hard it is to fake a smile?
how difficult it is to force a laugh?
how terrible it is to eat alone?
how sad it is when people treat you like some kind of freak?

i need some space here.


you cant offer me escape

at least i have my theater club.
at least i have __________
at least i have __________
at least i have __________
at least i have __________
at least i have __________

fill in the blank please.


i cannot keep up

there is no reason why i keep on mentioning about you on my every post.
its just that i love you too much.
you know that. right?
of course you do.
its been 30 month now.
memang bodoh lah kalau kau still tak faham perasaan aku kat kau.

dont let this go, Raja Afiq.


i missed my bitches so much. tolong, tolonng bawak i dari sini.

Friday, July 16, 2010

enjit enjit semut

screw yourself and your fucking rules. :)


i'm a creep, i'm a weirdo.

"babe, jom tengok bola! malam ni final, gila apa kalau tak tengok"
"haah en. jom jom."

dengan excited tukar baju.

"jap. kita nak pegi tengok kat mana?"
"tah lah. kat sini ada McD en"

sambil jalan keluar dari kolej.

"macam mana kita nak gi McD tu?"
"errrr. naik cab kot"
"hmm, kita pergi je dulu kat pak guard tu, nanti dia mesti tolong kita punya"

dengan konfiden, pergi kat pak guard.

"adik ni nak pergi mana?"
"kitorang nak keluar makan. lapar"
"nak gi makan kat mana?"
"errrr. tah tak tau."

dengan suka hati pak guard bertanya,

"adik ni budak tahun satu ke?"
"haah."

=.=


ini kisah saya dan cik farah yang dah tak tahan duduk dalam kolej. sengaja cari alasan untuk sedapkan hati sendiri, konon konon nak tengok bola. padahal cafe di kolej buka sampai esok pagi dan sampai esok malamnya semula. hahah. tapi yah, antara keistimewaan UKM atau lebih dikenali sebagai Universiti Keluar Masok; di sini tiada had masa. :)


what the hell i'm doing here.

low self esteem. mentally breakdown. emotionally distracted.
i reach at this point where i dont know my self anymore. congrats hanis! woaahhaaa. :D
muka jarang tersenyum, mulut jarang tertawa, tekak jarang bersuara dan ya mata jarang tak berair. terasa diri sendiri sangat pathetic. penat dari minggu orentasi pon belum habis lagi, then dah start lecture, dah start tutorial. it takes time for me to differentiate between tutor and lecture at first tapi whatever lah. to me, it means kau kena pergi. haihh. Fakulti Sains Sosial dan Kemanusiaan. *berjalan kurang dari lima minit dari kolej* tapi sayang seribu kali sayang, for linguistic students, we have our own pusat pengajian. Pusat Pengajian Bahasa dan Linguistik. *which is 1.5 km dari kolej* great, just great. that's why kena harung juga naik bas. tapi one more specialties of UKM, bas dia banyak and kau tak kan tunggu lama kat bustop. bukan macam kat UITM, siap kena kol pak cik bas. no offense but its a fact. ;) however, setiap kali naik bas, mesti sesat. first day of class, sesat sampai Kolej Keris Mas *kolej paling hujung UKM. and kolej i paling depan pintu masuk* tolong jangan tanya nape boleh sesat sampai ke sana, bas tu yang tak beritahu dia nak berenti kat mana. =.=

"sory eh bang. saya rasa saya dah salah bas. boleh saya turun kat sini?"
"oh takpe boleh. budak tahun satu ke? sebulan lagi baru korang akan faham."

oooohh.


i want perfect body, i wanna perfect soul.


ENGLISH LITERATURE (ELITE). that's the short name of my course.
yelaaa macam TESL, APB, MASSCOM.

"kau amik course apa?"
"ELITE"

:' )

bunyi macam cool kan? haha. yah cool sangat. sampai tak terjawab bila orang tanya. rasa tak sampai hati nak buat diri sendiri nampak cool dalam course yang tersangat cool. faham tak? okey, ignore. there are 7 subject all together. English for Social Sciences, Introduction to Language and Linguistic, Critical Appreciation, Oral Communication Strategies, TITAS, Introduction to Social Sciences and Pengenalan Perkembangan Pelajar. yang last ni kokurikulum. here in UKM, your Koke will be graded sebagai pointer. darn. *kat sini panggil koke. bukan koko. not sure why* first lecture in Critical Appreciation class, belajar tiga poem on rose. and literally, the three of them describe rose differently.

"okey, hanis, what do you think about rose in this poem?"
"errrr. i think rose is a flower"

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
yesss. hari pertama, kau dah buat semua orang tahu yang kau memang blur sastera.
ha, how's that for the first impression? ^^

hello, cik hanis, budak tadika pon tahu rose tu flower!
baik tak payah sambong ijazah untuk tahu tu!

boooooooooo.


i want you to notice when i'm not around.


"i sayang boyfriend i.
with all my heart.
kitorang dah lama and in serious relationship.
my heart is taken to this one guy and to this one guy only.
i'm just the wrong girl at the wrong time."

Raja Afiq, he's the one perfect rose.



till then, i harap naik bas tak sesat lagi.